Shhh: The Need for Quiet

 

I guess I have a problem.

You see, I get lost in thought quite often.

I think all the time.

Too much of the time.

And staying home with my four-year-old and three-month-old daughters doesn’t help.

The isolation from other adults is sometimes maddening.

But, I press on.

Because this is the life I chose.

Not my neighbor. Or my cousin. Or my mama.

Me.

When I found it impossible to get work after completing my college degree, I succumbed to the life of a stay-at-home mom and wife.

Once in a while, I’d get lucky and land a job. But between frequent moves and additional pregnancies, the work life became less and less appealing.

Turns out, I’m an introvert. I learned that about a year ago. I do well being by myself.

But, having four kids and needing to be alone to recharge is a paradox.

God’s got jokes.

I shhhh my children a lot. Like, a lot a lot.

It’s like my brain needs to use all its power to think and when it’s thinking, noise from them becomes extremely aggravating.

And I feel bad. Sometimes.

But mostly I have an “oh well” attitude about it. Because it’s what I need to stay sane.

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