I’m one of the lucky moms. Because not everyone who wants to be a stay at home mom can afford it given the American lifestyle.
It used to be a given that women stayed home and raised the kids. It was a man’s world.
Fast forward to today and that’s no longer the case. Yet, it’s still so new that we’re in that awkward stage of needing to constantly validate ourselves.
I used to think about it more frequently, but I suppose as time passes I shed more layers.
Growing up, the only goal I planned for was getting a college degree. I never planned for how kids would fit into my adult life.
And that’s the difference between my generation and that of my grandmother. She was raised to be a domestic goddess. She learned how to cook, clean and sew at a young age. She even lived at home until she got married in her late twenties.
Those were different times.
Women movements in addition to the rising cost of living resulted in a shift that moms everywhere stumbled through, having no guidance from older generations.
There was so much talk about “you can be anything you want” that there was never an honest conversation about how I would balance and fit kids in between my “wants.”
That’s where we’re at today – a world of women of my generation either flailing around frantically trying to “do it all” or those who have realized “balance” is never really obtainable.
My hope is that my three daughters will never struggle with the judgement I feel for obtaining a college degree yet choosing to raise my kids instead of climbing the corporate ladder.
I want them to understand that being a mom in today’s world is tougher than it looks, that they will make sacrifices for their kids they never anticipated on making.
I want them to know that it’s okay to feel like you failed on some level, like you’re playing a game you can’t win.
There will always be that internal voice trying to tear you down, saying that you made the wrong choice and that’s okay.
I’ve learned to tell myself that the decisions I’ve made throughout my life have all stemmed from what I felt was best for me at that moment in time.
I can always change my mind.
I can’t control how the world views my choice. They will say what they want to justify their own choices.
Their voices don’t matter.
What it all boils down to is living my life everyday, the best I can, and in a manner that my children can one day be proud of.
I won’t be a stay at home mom forever.